Bully-Free: It's Our Responsibility! — Parent's Part

Parents play a crucial role in establishing and maintaining a bully-free environment in school. Parents are ideally the first contact a child will have in getting help with a problem! Parents need to know exactly what their role is and what steps to take to resolve a child’s problem.

Parents at home need to be alert to a child’s need for help, whether their child is being bullied, or their child is bullying other children! Some warning signs of children who are bullied are: torn or dirty clothing, cuts, scratches and bruises, has few friends, afraid to go to school, doesn’t sleep well, nightmares, loses interest in schoolwork, seems sad, depressed or moody, is anxious, and/or has a poor self-esteem. Some warning signs of children who bully are: teases, threatens, hurts other students, hot-tempered, impulsive, difficulty following rules, aggressive, lacks sympathy, involved in stealing or vandalism. If you suspect bullying or your child has reported bullying to you, do not assume the teacher is aware of the situation. Bullying behaviors are often subtle and are easily undetectable by adults. Thus, parents should contact the teacher or counselor if they have any suspicions or concerns about bullying.

Parents can also reinforce what children are learning at school about combating bullying by making sure the child knows to report any concerns to the classroom teacher, discuss information learned in classroom meetings about bully prevention, and helping their children master “I-messages” to express the way they feel. “I-messages” are important because they empower students to solve conflicts independently and encourage communication. Students are instructed to first use an I-message when they are upset or their feelings have been hurt, by saying, “I feel (feeling) when you (what they did) because (details)”. After an I-message is delivered, the student who hurt another student should apologize, or the situation should be discussed until resolved, and they should not participate in that act again. If the same student continues to hurt/bother that student, after an I-message was delivered, then it is clear that they are not considering the student’s feelings. It is repetitive behavior; thus, it is bullying. Students will then notify an adult at school and an adult at home of the situation.

Another important aspect of combating bullying is prevention. We can prevent bullying behaviors by reinforcing and rewarding students who display good character. At school, students who display good character traits will be rewarded during monthly good character assemblies. Students will also be looking in books for story characters that displayed these good character traits. Some positive characteristics students will learn about and work towards are: kindness, courage, respect, responsibility, trustworthiness, dependability, cooperation, and perseverance. Encourage your children to display these qualities.

It is valuable for parents to keep in mind that we are all on the same team in ridding our school of unkind behavior. Identifying and resolving problems is a normal part of life, and we maintain confidence that every one of us can learn and can grow. As parents communicate with teachers to resolve specific and personal issues, a bond between the home and the school forms. This bond greatly strengthens the Worrall barrier to hurtful behavior, while holding every single one of us in the Worrall family safely inside.